the6parkers

the6parkers

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Is There Room For More In The Parker Academy?

Of course, now that we home school one child, the idea of home schooling all of them has crossed our minds.  We love Lizzie and Antwan's school, but the idea of having them home with me is enticing, for sure. 

I have all my important reasons.  If we home schooled, I wouldn't have to get them up early and get them ready for school because, you know, that part just stinks.  And, if we home schooled, I wouldn't have to spend all afternoon and evening trying to get them to do their homework because that part also stinks.  And, most importantly, we could take family vacations whenever we wanted! 

Ok, I know that those aren't the right reasons.  But, they are compelling ones.... ;)

But, then we started really thinking about it.  We both agreed that, at the very least, we were leaning towards home schooling Lizzie and Antwan when they got to middle school so we could spare them that experience.  But, the reality is that, so far, they haven't had nearly the problems that William has.  Lizzie always gets glowing progress reports.  And, Antwan, while his teacher has expressed repeated (and legitimate) concerns about his organizational skills, he is consistently on the wow board and often on best.  They have both made friends and enjoy school activities.  Admittedly, these are the most fun years of your whole school life, but, still, it is going well.

Those are good reasons for not doing anything now.  But, there are some convincing reasons to do it, too.

Everyone that I have talked to who has home schooled or was home schooled loves/loved it.  And, it's an opportunity to spend more time with my children.  I keep thinking about the fact that there is an opportunity to have our kids with us, all the time.  And, yes, that means that they'd be with us....all the time.  And, yes, that is daunting.  But, I'm painfully aware of how quickly time is moving.  And, I know that, in the blink of an eye, they'll be leaving and living their own lives.  And, I'll regret every moment and opportunity that I didn't take to soak them in just a little more.  The weeks go so quickly.  I get them up, rush them off to school.  They come home and I rush them through their homework.  Then, feed them dinner and send them to bed.  Then, we do it again, the next day and the next day and the next day...  Then we finally slow down over the weekend while squeezing in a bunch of social activities, all at the same time.  Before I know it, it's Monday morning again. 

The only time that I spend time with them during the week is if I pretend that I don't know that they haven't finished their homework.  I have a million conversations with Lizzie that end with, "Lizzie, you need to go back to your homework.  You distracted me, but you need to finish first before you... (insert fun activity)."  Or, like yesterday, when I watched Lizzie and Antwan play an elaborate and imaginative game with their Batman characters and Batcaves.  Brian asked me if Lizzie had finished her homework and I admitted that she hadn't.  Then, we both just let them play and I continued to watch (as directed) what Batman was doing on his motorcycle.  I know that's not teaching responsible behavior.  But, they were playing, really playing.  And, creating memories.  I just couldn't stop it. 



Frank the pug wants to play, too! ;)


I have a box of brownie mix sitting on the pantry shelf.  It's been there for weeks and weeks.  I bought M&M's to put in it (Lizzie's idea).  Then, nightly, I chased Brian away from the M&M's, saying that we were going to make them soon.  And, still it sat.  I bought green frosting to make it festive for St. Patrick's Day.  But, we didn't get done with homework in a timely manner so we never got around to it.  Still it sits.  Finally, I let Brian eat the M&M's (or he insisted, depends who you ask..haha).  And, the other day, I bought more M&M's because I am that determined! ;)  But, still they sit.  Now, I'm not saying that there has never been a time ever that I couldn't work brownie making in.  It's just hard because life is so busy.  And, I keep going back to that in my head.  How I haven't gotten around to making brownies with them.  And, I gotta say, making brownies and using it as a home school learning experience, better than...well, better than this.    


Back to objective reasons!  I can have a more active role in their education.  I can make sure that they are being taught in the best way for them.   I have seen how much William is actually learning, now that he is not losing points for handwriting and binder organization.  Both important things, but still not the most important things.  He actually chose to re-take a test because he was not happy with an 80%.  He said "I thought to myself, I can do better."   That's a far cry from the kid phoning it in at school.  (Wow, that was a cliché heavy sentence!)


Then, there's Kaleb. 

I find the idea of home schooling Kaleb a little more intimidating.  There's that whole teenager thing.  He is relentlessly a teenager.  And, I worry that we would make each other crazy.  I think that because, you know, we do actually make each other crazy.  But, maybe that's not such a bad thing.  I worry that I couldn't effectively help him.  And, I'm pretty sure that his current Algebra teacher/my friend would rue the day that she gave me her cell number, haha.  Because, me and Algebra?  No.  Just no. 

But, the fact is that the best moments with Kaleb are when we both slow down and talk to each other.  It's the drive-by/squeezed in interactions that wear me out.  And, I have a bad habit of blowing it or phoning it in when I really should stop, just stop.  (I'm trying.)  Like when he wants to have a quick conversation before he goes out to play with friends when I am inevitably hungry or tired (aka. right after school or right after I get home from the store).  Or when he wants to me to play him in an xbox game when the littles are in bed and I'm, again, hungry and tired.  ;)  Ok, admittedly, I'm always hungry and tired!  ;)  But, the point is, with more time comes more opportunity.  Opportunity to spend more time with the one who will be gone the soonest.  Theoretically. ;)


So, anyway, thoughts are floating in my head.  We've covered that.  And, as the days have passed, Lizzie and Antwan have started asked questions.  At first, they didn't realize that home schooling was even an option for them.  They thought that it was just because William "got in trouble at school."  Once I clarified, they had more questions.  I try to be as neutral as possible and just answer their questions. 

After making an initial statement that he didn't want to go to middle school and would rather spend time with me, Antwan hasn't said much about it.  And I don't ask because, at this point, there's no reason to.  But, Lizzie has an official opinion.  She was officially swayed by some compelling evidence.  A KFC cup in my front seat.

Last week, after dropping them off at school, William and I headed to Grandma and Grandpa's house so Grandpa could help with math.  (Have I mentioned how wonderful and supportive my parents are?  Because they really, really are.)  I've come a long way, but the words - "coordinates on a graphing plane" had me picking up my phone and calling in the big guns. 

William and my dad worked while my mom and I visited.  This was a pretty good deal for me, by the way. : )  And, when they were done, we went to lunch. 

So, Lizzie already knew that we were going over there and wasn't pleased.  But, when she got in the van at parent pick-up and saw the KFC cup, it was all over.  I really should've had the good sense to throw that away... ;)

Lizzie - "What's that?  Did you go to lunch with Grandma and Grandpa??"

I reluctantly said yes and added, "Don't worry, Lizzie.  Summer is coming up and we'll have plenty of time for visits with Grandma and Grandpa."

Lizzie - "Can we go over every day?"

Me - "Well, maybe not every day.  But, we can go over some."

I don't remember the rest of the conversation, I just remember that it ended with Lizzie saying "Mommy, I want to do home school.  Then, we can have lunch with Grandma and Grandpa, too!"

She went on to ask me if I could go talk to her principal tomorrow.

Lizzie's priorities are clearly just as out of whack as mine. :)

And, just to show her conviction, Lizzie brought it up again on the way to school, the next day.

"Mommy, I want to do home school."

And, yes, she referenced Grandma and Grandpa again.

She told Antwan who wasn't saying anything, "Mommy has to go talk to the principal.  Right, Mommy?"

I confirmed that a principal convo would probably be involved (if we were home schooling) and then, also, reminded her that if she was home schooled, she would miss out on field trips and school activities.

"Home schooling is great, but we have to think about all of those things, too."

All the while, I was resisting the urge to turn around and take my babies home.  What the heck, they were late, anyway! ;)



So, I don't know what will happen yet.  I don't know what the right thing to do is.  And, Brian and I are whole bunch of conversations from knowing.  But, I do know that my daughter sticks to her convictions.  Sometimes, that's frustrating when she is explaining why she can't clean her room or do her homework.  But, when her opinion is that she should spend more time with the grandparents who she loves (and, yes, score a fast food meal), well, then, it's just kind of adorable.  :)



 

















21 comments:

  1. Homeschool them. For as long as it is good for you and them. I wish we had done that, I almost feel like my boys, who were excellent students and had kind, plentiful friends, were traumatized by the ridgitity and dullness of school.

    I feel like homework is exactly the wrong thing for any child. Most of us struggle with finding balance in our lives, yet we expect children to sit through a whole day of school and then do homework. The school gets the best hours of the day with my kids - I at least want the time when they are home with me!!

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    1. So agree about the homework! I get so tired of saying "after you finish your homework," when they want to do anything fun in the afternoons. Yesterday, I pretended, for awhile, that I didn't know Lizzie hadn't finished her homework and we walked around the yard, watering the plants and checking on all of our seeds. It's a simple pleasure that there wasn't technically time for because of the homework. There's got to be a better way...

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  2. I'm going to go ahead and stop reading this blog now... Farewell.

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    1. I'm sorry to see you go. My curiosity has gotten the best of me, could I ask why?

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  3. If I had to guess, I suspect the Anonymous ex-reader above is one of those anti-homeschool people. I'm posting Anonymously because I'm of the opinion that some of my friends have done their children a grave disservice with their decisions to homeschool and are well on their way to having their children live at home forever because the children are illiterate and have no concept of how to function in society. However, I have some friends for whom homeschooling was the absolute best option for their children and their children are thriving and working above grade-level. I have friends with some children in school and some children homeschooled, based on what works for the individual child. My children who go to traditional schools at first envied their homeschooled peers because it seemed like they were having so much fun - sleeping in, doing lots of fun activities, and hanging out with Mommy all the time. However, years later, they complain that they don't want to hang out with these kids because they "get tired of having to explain everything to them since they are so stupid" at which point I tell them that it's not nice to call people stupid and my children explain that they "don't think their friend knows how to read and that they write like a kindergartner with big backwards uppercase letters even though they're almost middle-school aged!" However, if I were to tell these parents that their child is NOT performing anywhere near where they should be for a child that age/grade level, they'd probably quit speaking to me for saying so. (And no, there is no diagnosed learning disability such as dyslexia involved in this situation, because I DID note the backwards letters on a paper on their refrigerator and asked, which triggered some hostility.) There are tremendous issues with our public education system's increasing focus on gathering data and pushing for higher test scores while ignoring things like different learning styles, the need for physical activity and creativity. However, homeschooling because you want to sleep more and have fun may not necessarily be the best reasons to do so.

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    1. Totally agree, it's so important to make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons. Although, sleeping is pretty awesome...haha. (just kidding) I worry a lot about William staying on grade-level (intellectually). When I ask him questions about the material, he seems to be absorbing more now. Hard to say whether that's because he is learning more or because I know the right questions to ask now. But, definitely a good sign. :)

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  4. You're making great choices, Em.

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