I'm not going to lie. I really like being told that I'm amazing. I mean, who wouldn't? ;)
And, yes, we're very proud of what we've done. We didn't set out to change these children's lives. But, I will admit that we have. We didn't set out to have the majority of a sibling group in our house. But, we do. And, truth be told, I think we would've tried for all 6 if it had ever been an option. We didn't set out to be the racial minority in our family. But, it's kind of hilarious that we are.
It wasn't our plan, but, clearly, it was someone's plan because here we are. And, despite my efforts through my blog posts, there really are no words for how grateful I am that we are.
But, I don't feel amazing. I don't feel like a person who did a noble thing. Or the mom to my "adopted" children.
I feel like a mom to my children. Most of the time, I feel like a frazzled mom to my children. I feel like the mom who noisily drove her van through the parent pick-up line again, today, because she forgot to put power steering fluid in the van again. And, I feel like the mom who apologized to Lizzie's teacher, today, for not turning in her valentines box yet. I feel like the mom who dressed her kids up and took a little extra time on Lizzie's hair, today, for the school pictures; but, couldn't find the checkbook or the order forms so they weren't called to get their pictures taken, anyway. So, you might say, they were all dressed up with no where to pose....
Yes, that all happened in one morning. I am that mom.
But, in my defense, it's not always like that. I do occasionally redeem myself. After the meetings, that day, I was also the mom who, much to the cafeteria staff's amusement, went through the line 3 times so I could have lunch with my younger three. I also pondered what Kaleb would do if I surprised him by showing up at his school, next door. But, I kind of doubt that it's as cool when your mom surprises you at your middle school. (Move over, kids! Ok, now, who likes Batman??)
And, thankfully, I got to feel like the mom who squeezed in a nap before going back to the schools to get the kids and then play the "do your homework" game with them.
No, I don't think that I'm amazing. I'm not going to say that Brian's not amazing because, well, that would be rude. And, I need him to open a jar for me later. ;) But, this much is true. We have given them an opportunity for a better life. They are getting an education and a loving family. They have a dad who knows a startling amount of trivia about absolutely everything and a ridiculously unorganized mom. Meanwhile, they have given us the chance to build our life around them, to love them, watch them grow, to dress them up in costumes, and, also, to ponder the eternal question: how do we get them to pick up after themselves? How??
Do you want to know what I think is amazing? I'm guessing that you do since you are still reading! I think our life is pretty amazing. Our quirky little family has just the right amount of, well, quirk. I think it's amazing that we found each other and that I've kept my kids alive and well for this long. I think it's amazing that the life that they have now was not the one originally planned (for lack of a better word), but it is clearly the one that they are supposed to have.
You know, when I stop and look at them, I am blown away. When Kaleb tackles me with an unexpected hug, when William lingers in the kitchen while I wash dishes because he "wants to be with me," when Antwan pats my back to reassure me after he kicks my butt (repeatedly) in Kinect Sports, and when Lizzie smiles a big smile when I surprise her at the school; I can see that they love me. They love me just as I am.
Yeah, I know, I'm over-using the word, but, seriously, how amazing is that??
Well, I better stop discussing all this amazing stuff and go help my little girl decorate her Valentine box. Or she might have a different word to describe me... ;)
"You Don't Have To Be Perfect To Be A Perfect Parent"