Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Letter To Our Adopted Child

Brian was going through old adoption papers tonight.  Among the MAPP certificate, the background check verifications, and the home study stating that we were approved for up to 2 children up to age 12 (haha); he ran across a letter that we had to write to our future child.  I think it was mostly so the agency could assess our understanding of what we were getting into, but I always hoped that they would give it to our future child.  You can tell in the letter that we assumed that we'd only be adopting one child.  But, clearly, the universe had different plans. :)

Brian wrote the letter and I was proud to have my name connected to it.  You know, because he did a really good job.  Anyway, I thought it might be fun to share it. 

So, I guess this makes Brian, my guest blogger for the night! 


"Hello to our adopted child,

This is a letter that hopes to give you an idea of what your life will likely be like once you come to live with us.  It's difficult to say in advance exactly what life with us will be like.  You can be very sure that the basics will be covered.  You'll never want for food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or simple safety.  That should be obvious.  Still, we understand that you may not have had all of those things to this point in your life.  So, we make you that promise from the very beginning.  If you have been deprived of any of the basics of life, that time has ended for you.

We offer you much more than just the basics, however.  You're getting a full family for starters.  You are getting grandparents.  You are getting aunts and uncles.  You are getting cousins.  Plus, the many friends that we have are ready to be honorary aunts and uncles for you, as well.  We, also, feel that no family is complete without some members who are furry, finned, or feathered.  So, being alone is not something that you'll ever have to worry about.

You get a future with us, as well.  We want to give you every opportunity to do whatever you want to do with your life.  We don't know, and don't care, how smart you are or how pretty or handsome you are.  Our job as your parents is to give you the chance to be as good as you want to be.  We'll give you education, at school and at home.  We'll give you respect and compassion for others.  We'll give you as much hope and confidence for the future as any parents can.  We'll give you whatever you need to allow you to become whoever and whatever you want to be.

There's one thing that we'll give you that is just as, if not more, important as anything else  We'll give you our love.  We will always let you know that you are loved in actions, as well as in words.  Our love is and will always be unconditional.  We love you now, even though we haven't found you yet.  In the end, that's the most important thing we could ever give you.  We give you love.  Welcome.

Your new parents,

Brian & Emily"

I love that we actually were not that far off on our thoughts on what life would be like.  True, there's a noteworthy shortage of information on super heroes, how many donuts they will eat, and the number of costumes that they would one day wear.  But, other than that, he did good. ;)

You can't just shop in Academy Sports, you must try on cowboy hats!

My Men In Black


Saturday, December 7, 2013

William Struggles With His Handwriting.

My William.  He's smart as can be, but he had some catching up to do when he came to us with undiagnosed ADHD and minimal pre-school preparation.  In spite of that, he has flourished and most academic things come easy to him.  Because, like I said, he's smart.  All my kids are. :)

But, he has always struggled with his handwriting.  I don't know exactly why.  It could be because he's a leftie.  Being a leftie, too, I know that this is a relevant reason.  It could be because he has ADHD and finds it difficult to take the time to write the letters.  All I know is that it has always been a struggle.  I also know that if he takes his time, really takes his time, he can write perfectly well.  But, he doesn't usually take his time.  And, every year, his teacher suggests that he practice.  And, he does; mostly because we make him.  And, every year, he receives countless reminders from us to take his time.  But, it doesn't improve all that much. 

I really worry about middle school and how his handwriting will affect his school work when he's in such a fast paced environment.  So, lately, I've been working more writing time into our leisure time.  It works out since Antwan and Lizzie's teachers want them to practice writing, too.  This is usually when I lose Kaleb to his headphones and music.  But, I'll give him a pass; his handwriting is awesome.

So, the other day, I had them writing.  I asked William to write a paragraph about anything that he wanted.  Usually, his topics range from Minecraft, Doctor Who, and the xbox, in general.  It takes an inordinate amount of time, as he stares at the paper for a bit, trying to decide what he wants to say.  And, then we spend a few minutes discussing how many sentences he actually has to write.

Not today, though.  Today, he was a mastermind.  After we suggested that he write about Florida, he started writing right away.  Then, my sweet little mastermind brought this to me in half the time that it normally takes him to produce a paragraph.

"I like Florida.  Because of its warm weather.  It has great radio stations.  My favorites are 93.3, 95.1, 97.9.  And the family THAT ADOPTED ME!  I love you"

Well, this does little to assure me that he'll do well in middle school or that he has mastered the art of carefully writing each letter.  And, it definitely doesn't count as a paragraph.  But, it does assure me that he's a happy kid who knows he is loved, so I'll take it. 

Yeah, he scored a hug and a pass from writing any more that day.  Well played, William. :)
I love you, too!