the6parkers

the6parkers

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My kid's a nice guy.

From the beginning, which in William's case was at age 5, we have tried to instill compassion and courtesy in the kids.  William's counselor recently told me that kids with ADHD (like William) don't have empathy.  I quickly decided that was either just not true or that William was one of the "good ones."  Because every day, I see him doing more and more to make me proud and show me that an effort is being made.



Case in point.  We were at an arcade.  As we walked by, I saw a mother and daughter drop a cup full of tokens.  Now I'm proud of the fact that I always try to do the right thing, blah, blah.  But, I dropped the ball like they dropped the tokens  I was distracted by something and just kept walking.  When I glanced back, I realized that William wasn't with me, anymore.  Instead, he was over by the game, helping the mother and daughter pick up all of their tokens. 



I stood there, in awe of my son.  I realized that, yes, we had successfully instilled compassion and courtesy in him.  But, here's the thing.  You can't fake pure kindness.  No one would have thought anything of it, if he had kept walking.  Not even me.  He didn't look to make sure that I saw him do it.  Instead, he was so determined to do it that he forgot to let me know that he wasn't still walking with me.  His instinct was to stop and help. 


When he finished helping, he came back over to me.  I was almost in tears.  I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him.  He seemed a little confused by the attention.  But, I'm willing to wager, he didn't mind it one bit. :)


I've had many moments of pride in the past four years, but this was a big one. It was just a simple thing, but I bet it meant a lot to the them.  It definitely meant something to me.


It really hit home, yesterday. I found a cool tv stand at the thrift store which, of course, I just had to have. It's short and on wheels.  So, after paying, I was awkwardly pushing it towards the door. When I was about 2 feet away (about the distance of the mother and daughter who had dropped their tokens), a woman came in the door. I saw her glance at me and then continue walking. It would've been awesome if she had taken that extra moment to hold the door open for me, but she didn't. And, she wasn't under any obligation to do so. But, it would've been nice.   My mind went back to William and I knew that he would have. 


Somehow, in the midst of his exhausting ADHD, questionable choices, and determination to dance and sing almost every minute of the day (the boy is never tired!); he has turned into such a truly nice boy.  Well, really, he was a nice boy, all along.   


Very proud of his Bunny hat/nacho container!
There are many things that I have tried and will try to teach my children.  But, on that day, William taught me something.  And, turns out learning is fun.  And, you know, educational. 

21 comments:

  1. Agree 100%. As someone who teaches almost exclusively kids with ADHD, they are just as compassionate, if not more so than their non-adhd counterparts!

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  2. Sorry, I somehow missed this comment. Yeah, I couldn't believe it when his counselor said that kids with ADHD don't have empathy. Kudos to you for teaching kids with ADHD. :) I imagine that's challenging.

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